Walking a mile in someone else's Moccasins
by Fate Bringer
Summary: Hitomi and Dilandau are faced with a cough INTERESTING dilema, and must work together to make it through


********************************************************************************************************************************

FINE!  I don't own Escaflowne.  There, are you satisfied?!

********************************************************************************************************************************

**VERY IMPORTANT NOTE:** Based on the TV series but with an alternate ending: Hitomi stayed and married Van, and Dili is around, because instead of Celena just taking over, they actually SPLIT into two different people, okay?  That work?  Also, I'm kinda unfamiliar with the characters (been a while since I saw the series) and this supposed to be a comedy, so some things maybe OOC.  Please feel free to point out ANY OOC behavior you see or lapses in reasoning. 

Okay, to the story!

**Chapter 1**

            It was a weird day to begin with, that's what stood out in both their minds.  Hitomi Fanel had been asleep wrapped in a snug warm blanket, nice and toasty by a fire, but some strange inner sense woke her up.  She was beside Van, as she had been for these last six years.  Six glorious years filled with nothing but joy and unrelenting love as the two watched their little kingdom grow and prosper as they rebuilt the best they could.  They even had a little baby son, Folken, who looked just like his father, except for his eyes.

He had his mother's soft green eyes.

It still brought tears of laughter to her eyes when she remembered the day he was born, and Van looked at his son as though he was an alien.

_"Go on Van hold him."_

_"He's so little, I might break him."_

_"No you won't.  Besides, did you think they come out talking?"_

_"No. . ."  He said, but it was obvious from his expression that he had in fact expected just that._

_"Didn't anybody teach you about babies Van?"  Hitomi asked teasingly, he just looked away avoidantly, finally answering "Well, I was only five when my mother died, and Balgus didn't exactly give me any answers when I asked him."_

_"You. . ."  Hitomi had to smother chortle of laughter, "Actually ASKED him?"_

_"Well, yes. . . . once.  He just said something about needing to cleanse his armor and sauntered off.  Actually, it was more like a "run for the hills" then saunter."  At this Hitomi threw back her head and just laughed hysterically, waking the tiny baby, causing him to wail piteously at his parents for comfort at the sudden sound and shaking._

_When she had finally settled down, Hitomi patted the bed next to her calmly, Van sat down, and she gently laid the precious bundle of blankets in his arms._

Still smiling, Hitomi rose and began walking towards a pond to get some water before settling back to sleep.  When she came to the pond, it occurred to her that it was, in fact, the same pond where Van's parents met.

_Maybe I should tell him._

Dilandau Albatou woke with start.

"Damn nightmares."  He hissed to himself, furious at this small show of weakness.  Throwing aside the blankets, he stormed off to a nearby pond, to wash his face, and think.

The pond itself was enshrouded with a fine mist as he approached it.  He was now on high alert, searching for even the slightest sign of trouble that could be there.  He didn't like this pond.  The mist always seemed so thick, hiding the other shores, which anything (or any_one) could be behind you and you wouldn't know, plus the pond could disguise sounds.  A splash could be a wave against a shore, or an animal, or an enemy._

And he had plenty of enemies who would love a good mist.

After several moments, he knelt down next the pond and dipped his delicate, femme hands into the in the lake and splashed the ice-cold water onto his face.  He shuddered, remembering the dream.

_He'd been running.  Running along a road until his heart was pounding.  Images of battle, blood, gore and guymelef, mostly from the Fate Wars appearing directly in front of him.  Suddenly was lifted off the ground and suspended in midair, purple mists surrounded him as he struggled to find an escape, followed by some mass slaughtering.  Suddenly the image THE GIRL appeared.  The one from the mystic moon._

_"You can't really know someone until you've walked a mile in their Moccasins"_

_"Fate is never predestined, you make it yourself." suddenly the mist glowed and changed to a deep blood red, and he could feel something inside screaming danger!  Then suddenly, a deep and unearthly voice hissed right in his ear_

_May this save you from your fate._

Dilandau shuddered.  One day he would make that girl pay.  He'd personally strangle the life from her.  He grinned wickedly at that thought, enjoying the lovely image that ensued.  Then suddenly he notice his reflection, and the single scar on his face, an everlasting reminder of his past.

_Oh yes, she'll pay._

As if on cue, the mist on the other side of the pond cleared, revealing

_HER!!!_

Hitomi had just stood up and was gazing into the mist when it suddenly cleared and she found herself face to face with HIM!!

For a moment, the two just stared at each other, a look of absolute hatred overcoming his face, and one of absolute fear on her face.  Then, as if some glass wall that had been between them suddenly shattered, Dilandau pulled out his sword, and began charging toward her, Hitomi screamed for help. 

As though it was just waiting for her, a sudden blue jolt of lighting came down from the sky seconds before he could strike the killing blow, splitting in two and striking its victims unconscious. . . . 

*A/N: I could be extremely cruel and just leave off here, but I want to give you some of the slapstick, so I shall continue*

Slowly, groggily.  Dilandau felt consciousness returning, and instantly wished for the dark to return.

_Neg__, head feels like a guymelef fell on it, muscles hurting, and chest heavy.  Were just a few of his scattered thoughts as he lifted himself up, a strand of bangs fell into his face.  Not terribly alarming in itself, except. . . _

It was a mousy brown, and he didn't HAVE bangs

_What the fvk?  He thought grabbing at the short strands.  __This isn't mine!  Then suddenly he looked down, and _immediately_ realized why his chest was so heavy._

_THESE **DEFINITELY** AREN'T MINE!!  He said staring at the new appendages currently latched onto his chest in a mixture of horror and disgust._

_How?!  What?!  His thoughts were a jumble of unconnected thoughts and emotions, as he searched for something familiar on his body, but found nothing.  Suddenly he felt ten years old again and having his blowtorch privileges taken away._

_I need something to burn!  He thought, whimpering inwardly, though outwardly only showing his turmoil with widening of eyes.  Then suddenly he noticed himself lying on ground just a few yards away._

_But if my body's over there then who.  His eyes widened to what must have been their full extent and he crawled over to the water, only to find himself staring into all too familiar pair of emerald eyes. . . _

_Neg__!  Hitomi thought, putting on hand to her head.  __Where am I?  What happened?  Then it all came back to her, Dilandau, the lighting.  __Good thing it didn't kill me she thought as she further pulled herself up out of the dirt.  __But wait, I'm on the wrong side.  _Who moved me? _ Then suddenly she saw, well, HERSELF staring at the water echoing her look of absolute horror._

_But wha!?  HOW?!  Then she looked down to see a familiar set of black armor ON HER and strands of silvery hair right in her face._

The switchers looked at each other for a moment before. . . 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

********************************************************************************************************************************

Hey all, Fate Bringer.  Hope you like the first chappie, and bear with me.  This is my first time writing a comedy, so please R&R and let me know what's wrong, what's right, etc etc.  Also, it's  gonna get a lot funnier, specially when I throw Van and the Dragon slayers in the mix. Next chappie:  Dili gets a lesson in walking the walk and talking the talk, _girl style! Ta ta till then!_

********************************************************************************************************************************


End file.
